


My Colourful World

by amamiya



Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: Angst?, F/M, Fluff, School days harutaka, harutaka - Freeform, the colours soulmate au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 04:29:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15700167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amamiya/pseuds/amamiya
Summary: Haruka, a sickly boy, makes eye contact with his soulmate and can finally see the colourful world he was longing for.





	My Colourful World

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this too late and it's really rushed and ugh i'm sorry!  
> (Was supposed to be posted on 15 august)

My name is Haruka Kokonose.

I've always been a sickly child. It seemed that every year, I would have to be absent from school due to my body. I was weak, I pale and I was far too skinny.

My skin almost ressembled the same shade of onto those women in nihonga (traditional Japanese painting) and whenever I looked at myself, I was slightly disgusted at what I saw. I doubt humans were meant to look like this. Sometimes I swear I could see my veins through my semi-translucent skin because of the lack of seeing sunlight from being in my hospital room all day.

It was during my elementary years when I began to draw. It happened by chance, one day. A nurse who was assigned to take care of me brought me some spare paper, a pencil and an eraser because she didn't want me to get bored.

"Kokonose-san, you must be bored lying in bed all day. You can draw if you'd like, I managed to get some scrap paper and a pencil and an eraser."

To be honest, the hospital was always boring, but I never wanted to show anyone I was bored. Especially because they're the ones working so hard for a sickly boy like me to keep living. Thinking about it now, I guess I wanted to be less of a burden.

I picked up the pencil and began to draw things around me.  
I had nothing to do all day except to practice drawing. Occasionally, I would get sent homework and pamphlets from my school, but I finished those fairly fast and continued practicing sketching.

It wasn't long until I had gotten bored of sketching whatever I saw in my room.

I was so bored and it was so boring and no one ever came to see me because my parents were always busy and—

"Kokonose-san, did you draw that? That looks pretty good!" A nurse picked up the scrap paper containing my sketch of the room. "You're pretty good at this, honest."

"Ah, it was really nothing," I rubbed the back of my head. "I'm always in my room all day so I can only draw the things inside this room."

"In that case, do you want me to bring you other things to draw?" The nurse smiled at me gently.

"U-Uh, yes please...!" I stammered nervously.

That's when my love for art began.

Day after day, various nurses would leave me books, magazines and even manga to reference from. I spent most of my resting days in hospital  meticulously drawing, drawing, drawing. I wanted to get it right, I wanted to get it as close to perfect as I could.

One day, I overheard people talking outside.

 

 

_"Poor kid, you think he's gonna end up living that long...?"_

_"Hopefully, they do, but the majority of patients around here don't seem to be doing well. Only a few actually manage to recover and never come back."_

_"I'd at least like for them to see colour. Ever think they're gonna meet that person...?"_

_"Honestly, I don't know. But I'm not sure I'd want them to. If they don't live, they'd have to say goodbye to them..."_

_"Ah, I see your point. I must get going soon. Nice talking to you...!"_

_"Likewise. See you tomorrow!"_

 

 

Colour...?

 

What is that?

 

<><><>

 

"Miss, what's colour?" I asked the nurse who had recently entered the room. She visibly tensed up and turned towards me.

"C-Colour?" She put a hand to her chin. "How do I explain this..."

"It's alright, I can wait if you want to think about what to say," I added.

"Colour is, well..." she moved her gloved hands to make a messy gesture. "Kokonose-san, do you know about soulmates?" She asked. "It's important you know about those before I continue."

I shooked my head.

"Soulmates are the people who are destined to be together. They're destined to spend the rest of their lives together," she sighed, dreamily.

"What about colour, miss?"

"People say, that when you meet your soulate, you will finally be able to see colour. To be honest, I'm not sure what colour looks like since I haven't met my soulmate yet," she chuckled, awkwardly twisting her hair. "But regardless, I'm still young and you are still young, Kokonose-san. Don't worry about it, you'll met them one day."

 

I wish I could.

 

<><><>

 

It turns out, that after elementary had passed, I still had to spend time going to hospital regularly. Nothing really changed. Sometimes the doctors did a checkup and I'd be fine, sometimes they'd shake their heads and tell me to stay for a week or two.

Somehow, I pieced together that I was actually a bit smart. My results weren't perfect, but I thought they were pretty good. But since I was absent a lot, some of my grades were deducted. Apart from art, I learned that I loved math. It was straightforward and pretty logical, which I liked.

Still, because of my sickly body, I never could make any friends or get close to any of my classmates in my three years of middle school. And whenever I'd come back, I felt like I was invisible to everyone. No one would ever talk to me because no one knew me that well and they all had their own group of friends to talk to. This was why I usually resigned myself to sitting on my desk by  and sketching the days away.

On my last year, I had grown fond of the art teacher, so they let me come in during lunctimes. I was grateful for that. I usually sat alone in homeroom or by the top floor, where no one went to because the door to the roof was always locked.

I eventually felt myself grow a bit stronger. It was a relief for me, for someone who had such a weak body.

But sometimes I couldn't help but get curious and a bit jealous that someone in my school had already experienced colour.

It happened one day, when two childhood friends were bickering.

 

 

_"Hey, stop being so picky! I made this for you too and they're exactly the same. No matter what colour you choose— they'll taste the same," a boy protested._

_"But, there's anime girl on this one! I don't want to be seen as an otaku— you're the otaku."_

_"I am so not—!" He retorted._

_"Oh yeah? Then why does your room have posters of the purple haired—" she was cut off as he put his hand on her mouth. He looked around warily._

_"Fine, fine," he sighed and handed over a bento which was apparently green. "You can have the normal green one, and I'll take the bento with the purple haired girl."_

_"Seriously_?!"

_"Y-Yeah..."_

 

I wonder what my world would look like if it was colourful like theirs.

I wish I could see it before I died.

Please, let me see it— one time would be more than enough.

 

<><><>

 

I wish the beginning of my first year of Highschool went smoothly. It didn't.

A few weeks before the school year started, I collapsed and had to spend almost another month in hospital. I missed the opening ceremony and was promptly mailed a letter which told me that I'd be attending a special class and a map of how to get to said class.

This meant that I would be away from everyone in my grade. Again. Like the past 10 years of my life.

Great.

After I mustered the strength to stand up again, I put on my school uniform and walked to school. I had to admit, the uniform made me look slightly taller than I already was. My bony hands which clutched my sketchbook didn't help either. As soon as I had walked past the school gate, the bell rang.

I hurriedly followed the map, I eventually made it in front of a door which had "Resources Room" written on it. Opening the door, I noted that two desks and a whiteboard were the only things in the room. That, and a glasses man wearing a lab coat.

"You must be Kokonose Haruka, nice to meet you. I'm Tateyama," he held out his hand for me to shake. I took his hand and lightly shook it. "You're just in time. Unfortunately, I can't say the same thing about your classmate."

I had a classmate?

A few minutes later, the door slid open and someone stumbled to their desk. A girl with pigtails and white headphones on her head. As she sat down on the chair, she put her hands in front of her, rested her head down and became motionless.

"Ah. This is your classmate, Enomoto Takane. She's in this class too, because of medical reasons. The thing you just saw her do— fall asleep— it's pretty common for her to do that," Tateyama-sensei explained. "But what about you, Kokonose-san? Mind telling me your story?"

"I'm always sick," I frowned. "It's not that I do bad at schoolwork, it's just that... I was born very sickly and I often have to go stay at the hospital. I end up missing important things at school. It's always been that way since as long as I could remember..."

"I see," Tateyama-sensei pondered for a moment. "If you have any concerns, please tell me about them. While Enomoto is asleep, I'll be filling you in on what you've missed this year so far."

I heard the girl in the desk next to me begin lightly snoring.

<><><>

My hands cramped up after writing so much that the stingig sensation made me drop my mechanical pencil. I sighed.

It was breaktime, and Tateyama-sensei had gone to the staff room. Enomoto hadn't woken up yet. I was bored. I had already completed copying down the notes he wrote in his messy handwriting on the board.

I fished out my pencil case from my bag and grabbed my sketchbook. There was nothing to do or draw, so I ended up drawing the sleeping female beside me. Her hair was interesting, and her facial expression looked so peaceful.

That's when I heard her begin to stir.

It was a yawn, followed by the shuffling of her jacket. She groaned and said something along the lines of: "Five more minutes, let me sleep dammit..."

"E-Enomoto-san...?" I called out to her.

Slowly, she untangled her head from the mess of her arms. Her face turned to look at me. Her features were small and cute, but seemed a bit rough around the edges. Blinking gently, she opened one eye to look at mine with a glare.

The world— it exploded in front of my eyes. I could see new things I couldn't see before. It was much more vibrant— I could see the vast sky from the class window as something besides a dull shade of what was called the colour 'grey'. I could also see that the room around me, the wooden floor wooden floor changed into a different hue with white walls . But most importantly, the girl in front of me looked up at me, a frown on her face with a sharp glare from her eyes.

"What do you want?" She hissed.

"Ahaha, sorry," I apologised. "Did you want to go back to sleep, I'll lend you my—"

"Yeah, you bet I want to go... Back to sleep..." She closed her eyes on the spot, and after a minute or two, she really was sleeping.

My sleeping classmate made such a good drawing reference. But what was that earlier? When our eyes met, the world... This can't be colour, can it? I've heard there was a colourblind test, I wonder if Tateyama-sensei can let me take it.

Picking up my pencil, I kept glancing at Takane until I had drawn a basic outline. After that, I had sketched her hair, her uniform and expression. She wore such a soft, gentle expression as she slept. That mouth of hers was narrow, but judging from what she said to me earlier, I doubt her words were as gentle as her sleeping self looked.

The bell rang once more and Tateyama-sensei appeared around a few minutes later.

"Ah, I see Takane's still asleep," he muttered. "Do you have any questions, Kokonose?"

"Well, I kinda have two things to ask of you," I began. "You can call me Haruka, if you'd like. Being called Kokonose makes me feel like I'm still in hospital."

"Alright," Tateyama-sensei nodded.

"Also Tateyama-sensei, if you don't mind— do you have a colour test around?" I awkwardly scratched my temple.

"Ah, you want to see if you can see colours?" He smiled. "You've met your soulmate— why didn't you tell me sooner! Who is it?"

"I'd rather not say..." I blushed and snapped shut my sketchbook containing drawings upon drawings of Takane.

"You've finished the questions I set you, right?" Tateyama-sensei asked.

I nodded.

"I guess we have a few minutes to do the test..." He walked towards a drawer and pulled out a few pages. "I bought a copy of it when my daughter told me the world looked funny. Here, you try it, Haruka." He held out a two sheet towards me. One with a picture, and the other with the names of colours.

"What do you see? Name the colours you see in the picture."

"The sky isn't dull, it looks like a grey blue. The sun looks bright, and a bit like a light yellow. The grass is a pale green along with the leaves on the trees. The roofs are all black, grey and red."

"Ah..." He passed me another picture . "What about this sheet? This one is of the beach."

"The umbrellas are red and blue and yellow and white. The sand is the colour cream? The sea is almost grey and the grass in this one looks green."

"I see," he pushed up his glasses.

"So, what's the outcome, Tateyama-sensei...?"

"You can see colours!" He said excitedly. But I could tell he didn't mean it. I'd been lied to too many times at hospital to not notice the fake smile he put in. "But I wonder... Isn't this a little cruel? How long does he have...?

I don't think he knew I heard his last sentence.

But, this would mean Takane is my 'soulmate', right?

 

<><><>

 

"Good morning, Enomoto-san!"

Every morning I would greet her. She would get flustered whenever I did, and usually delivered a swift punch to my gut. I choked a bit whenever she did that, but it was fine.

"Stop calling me Enomoto! It sounds too formal and weird!" She growled.

"Good morning, Takane...?" I questioned.

"N-No! That..." She sighed and stomped into down the hallway in her red sneakers. "Forget it...!"

A few lessons in, and Takane jerked her head towards the side. She was wearing headphones, but claimed she could only hear Mr. Tateyama speak, and that she couldn't hear me at all.

Mr. Tateyama chuckled at this, and continued teaching on a portable blackboard. He wrote math equations on the board with liquid chalk while I could her Takane complaining. She was bad T math.

She turned to look at me for a few seconds, so I grinned at her. She immediately covered her face and went back to staring at her textbook.

 

<><><>

 

During lunch, I pulled my bento out of my schoolbag. I noticed from the corner of my eye, that Takane was staring at it. I never really noticed but, does she ever bring her own food?

"Takane, are you hungry?" I asked. "If you want, you can have some of my food." Using my chopsticks, I picked up a piece of tempura and held it towards her.

"No thanks. I'm fine. It's your food..."  She turned away. "... But thank you for o-offering."

Takane thanked me.

Takane  
Thanked  
Me.

I felt my heart beat a bit faster. I felt my grip on the chopsticks loosen and I dropped them both and the tempura on my desk.

"Haruka, are you alright?" She immediately turned towards me. "Not that I care— I just don't want to be stuck alone in a class again."

"Yeah, I guess I'm fine. My hands feel a little weak though."

 

<><><>

 

I kept sketching the girl next to me whenever she was sleeping or preoccupied with a game. It turns out, whenever it was lunchtime, she would also play games on her psp and playstation at home too. Her facial expression seemed happy and focused whenever she held a game. So, I kept sketching her over and over again.

Eventually, I bought myself a pack of coloured pencils. They looked decent to me I guess and that would have to do.

During the school festival, she didn't notice, but whenever she played against a challenger, I sketched her in the sidelines. It was fun to draw someone who meant meant so much to me.

Her words were harsh, but her actions contradicted her. She would help me with english questions— my weakest subject, and expect nothing in return. Some days, we spent the afternoon chatting with each other on the most mundane things.

"Haruka, what do you think about me? Would you ever hate me?"

"I could never hate you, Takane. Just keep being yourself."

"A-Ah... Thanks. I just felt a bit depressed earlier. It's been a bad at my house for the past week."

"Don't worry about it, everyone has bad days too."

"Also, Haruka..." She trailed off.

"Mhmm, what is it, Takane?"

"Don't _ever_ change."

_"I won't."_

With Takane, I could finally let go of the burdens of my past.

 

<><><>

 

After she had finished a level, I tapped her on the shoulder. Surprised, she jolted and I saw the end of her headphones land on her skirt.

Was it even plugged into anything at all...?

"W-What is it?" She asked.

"Could you please, ah..." I was looking for the right words. "Tell me which colours you prefer?" I held out my pack of coloured pencils towards her desk.

"Colour?" She raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

She doesn't see any colour...?

"Are you sure?" I asked her.

Takane was definitely my soulmate.

"Yeah, what are you talking about? I don't see any colours. They all look like grey to me. It's always been that way." She adjusted her headphones and focused back onto her handheld console.

I knocked my sketchbook to the floor.

Takane glanced at me again, a confused look on her face.

My heart hurt at the feeling. A small pain in chest grew and grew.

After I'd finally found someone who made me feel happy...

Ah, well. I guess it was too good to be true.

How pathetic of me.

Maybe the people outside all those years ago were right when they said they didn't want us to meet that person. Because you'd have a taste of something you could never keep.

I collapsed.

My eyesight was the first thing to go.

"Haruka? Ha... ka...?!" I felt someone shake my shoulder. "W-Wait... I'll go get Tateyama!"

And eventually, my hearing went too.

And then I became unconscious.

 

 

<><><>

 

 

I woke up in a bed, in an all too familiar hospital room.

"Kokonose-san, are you awake...?"

"Yes, I am. Is anyone else here?"

"A high school girl with pigtails and a man with a white labcoat brought you here, but they left earlier."

Ah..

I want to see Takane again.

"Oh, and Kokonose-san..." The nurse asked. "Are you alright? Apart from the collapsing— is there anything else bothering you?"

I opened my eyes. "Oh..."

"What's the matter?" Asked the nurse.

"Why is the world so dull again?" I questioned.

The colours from earlier— they were long gone. The hospital and my world was back to seeing hues of grey, white and black that were so empty compared to the colours I had seen after I met takane.

"The world? Dull?" The nurse muttered. "Excuse me, Kokonose-san, but have you met your soulmate?"

"I have, but..." I put a finger to my lips, whispering, "But she can't see anything different. She told me she couldn't see any colours. That's when I felt terrrible and collapsed right after."

"I don't know how to tell you this, Kokonose-san..." The nurse looked down at the floor guiltily. "Remember when I told you about soulmates and colours all those years ago?"

I nodded.

"I forgot to mention two things. One, there have been cases of a such a situation. It's cruel, but possible that your weren't hers. She may have been your soulmate... But hers is someone else."

What...?

"And two, if the world becomes dull and you can't see colours anymore— your soulmate is no longer..."

"No longer what?" I just, I don't want her to say what I think she's going to say.

"Your soulmate is no longer alive."

"I..." A tear rolled down my cheek.

Man.

I'm so weak.

I knew I hated myself for being such a weak person before— but I hated myself even more now for being weak.

If only I was stronger, could I have lived a normal life?

Could I have saved Takane?

I wish I had a stronger body.

I wish Takane could have seen the colours too.

There were so many things I wished for, but it seemed like none of them ever came true. 

In a cruel world, where I, Haruka Kokonose has had to spend his life in and out of hospital, a constant repeating cycle which made me feel sicker and weaker by the day— only one thing good had ever happened to me. And while it wasn't very long—

I got to see colourful world I had wished for. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah i'm sorry idk how to end this man


End file.
